My daughter has a fascinating relationship with money.
She loves having it.
Spending it, however, appears to be completely unacceptable.
Over the years she has built an impressive financial portfolio consisting of Valentine’s Day money, birthday money, Tooth Fairy contributions, and what I can only describe as opportunistic spare change acquisitions from the car.
If there is a loose quarter in the cup holder, it will not remain loose for long.
This child could locate money hidden in a couch cushion from 2007.
Her system is thorough.
Valentines from grandparents? Saved. Birthday cash from relatives? Saved. Tooth Fairy payment? Deposited immediately.
At this point she has what I assume is a small but respectable savings account stored somewhere in her room.
But here is the interesting part. None of that money is ever used. Ever.
The funds are treated less like spending money and more like a museum exhibit. Look, but do not touch.
Meanwhile she very much enjoys shopping. She loves walking through stores and identifying things she would like.
“Mom, look at this.”
“Mom, I love this.”
“Mom, can we get this?”
And I say, very reasonably, “You have money.”
Which is apparently the most offensive statement anyone has ever made.
Because while she enjoys having money, the concept of actually spending it is where things break down.
Take Caffeine & Carbs.
She absolutely loves her iced macadamia nut latte.
She wants the drink.
She will happily accompany me there.
But if the conversation shifts even slightly toward using her own money, the enthusiasm disappears immediately.
“Oh… never mind.”
Not never mind on the drink. Just never mind on the paying.
This same financial philosophy extends to Hobby Lobby or Target.
She can walk through Hobby Lobby for an impressive amount of time pointing out items she desperately wants.
Craft supplies.
Decorations.
Random small things that apparently have enormous emotional significance.
But the moment I suggest she could purchase one of them with the money she has carefully accumulated, she looks at me like I’ve suggested something truly outrageous. Use her money? For things? Absolutely not.
That money has a purpose. The purpose appears to be continuing to exist.
It’s actually a remarkable financial strategy. Collect revenue from multiple sources while ensuring no expenses ever occur.
Honestly, it’s not unlike certain corporations. And I have to admire the discipline. This child has more restraint than most adults.
Adults see money and immediately start mentally allocating it to groceries, bills, or something mildly responsible.
My daughter sees money and thinks, “Excellent. The collection grows.”
The only spending she fully supports is mine. My money is apparently the community fund. Her money is the national reserve. Protected. Untouched. Carefully guarded.
And honestly, the longer I observe this system, the more I realize she might be onto something. Because if you never spend your own money, you technically always have money. Which is a pretty solid financial position for someone who still needs a ride everywhere.
So while she continues to build her impressive treasury of Tooth Fairy earnings and recovered vehicle currency, I will apparently remain the primary investor in iced beverages and craft supplies.
But if this child ever decides to enter the banking industry, I feel confident she will do very well.
She already understands the most important rule. Acquire assets. Protect assets. And absolutely never spend your own money if someone else’s is available.