My Forehead is a Mini-Series - By Dan Dauw

Christmas Walk

This big time and fun event is this coming Saturday, December 9th. The hours are from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Actually, the Jingle 5K Run starts with registration from 7:30 to 8:30 a.m. There are a ton of events with way too many to list here. Just go to: Geneseo Current.com for a complete listing. If it’s cold, which it will be, warm your hands at our Civil War camp fire just north of the museum, on the corner. I have to give credit to Zack Sullivan, Valerie Kline, and the Chamber of Commerce Executive Board, Board of Directors and many volunteers that worked hard to make it all come together. An outstanding job they do!

Wind Turbines

I read recently about the concern over birds and bats hitting the blades of wind turbines. If the blades go fast enough insects will keep away and that in turn will keep bats away. Studies have shown that increasing the speed of the blades to six meters per second reduces bat deaths significantly. In the European Union it is now a legal requirement to curb wind farms during times of peak bat activity in the migration season. In Norway, whitetail eagles were being killed until it was found by painting one of the blades black it reduced the mortality rate by 70%. I think those big fans are ugly to the countryside, but they are an excellent source of renewable energy. They also put a few thousand bucks a year in farmers pockets if built on their property. I wonder how many dead bats and birds in Henry County have died flying into the turbine blades? Hopefully, very few, if any.

Argo

This little hamlet east of Eldridge, IA, is rather unique. It has a restaurant which has great food at reasonable prices. Still, that is not what makes it unusual. When the waitress takes your food order, it is by memory, no writing down your order. Not only that, but when you go to pay at the register you tell them what you had to eat. It’s on your honor. We go there twice a year when Lorna’s relatives are in town. A lot of nearby farmers frequent the place.

Take Your Skates

If any of you decide to fly down to Caracas, Venezuela, for Christmas, bring your roller skates. It is traditional to roller-skate to church on Christmas morning.

Achilles Heel

The Achilles tendon is at the back of the foot. A fellow named Achilles was said to have been held by his heel when dipped in the Styx River. His heel was the only dry part of his body. Thus, the term, “Achilles Heel.”

Outer Space Humor

Why did the Martian leave the Mars party? Ans: He didn’t like the atmosphere!
How does the man on the moon trim his hedge? Ans: Eclipse it! How do spacemen hold up their pants? Ans: With asteroid belts! What did the alien say to the tree? Ans: Take me to your cedar!

Us Older Folks

Wrinkles? My face has more lines than the Illinois Driver’s License facility! Speaking of wrinkles, they say wrinkles tell a story. If that’s true, my forehead is a mini-series. I have bags under my eyes. It is nice that Southwest Airlines lets you bring the two on board for free.

Quotation Of The Week

An old proverb: “To speak kindly does not hurt the tongue!”

Beyond 76 - By Dan Dauw

POEM FOR CUZ LAURA

I promised my cousin, Laura Dunfield, I’d give her a poem on her 80th birthday. She lives in Connecticut and is a giant UConn women’s basketball fan. Anyway, it’s a little late, but here’s her poem:

Roses are red, Violets are gray;

Hope you stayed sober, On that special day;

I know you like the pool, But now swimming is done,

Too cold outside, not hardly fun!

So, Happy Birthday to you, Just stay healthy and don’t get the flu!

Polly

“Polly” was our foreign student guest we hosted over the Thanksgiving holidays. Polly Cheng (western name) or Nga Yue (Hong Kong name) is from Hong Kong which means,”fragrant harbor.” People in Hong Kong and also Singapore have two names. Because of the Covid 19, the International Thanksgiving Day Program was suspended until this year. In short, foreign college students from Chicago are bused to Geneseo and a few other northern Illinois cities over the Thanksgiving holidays. The students stayed with host families and were bused back to Chicago on November 26th. Polly is studying for her Masters in Social work.

She was lots of fun and spoke excellent English. Besides having Thanksgiving at the farm in Long Grove, IA, one day we took her to see the Mississippi River, Al & Karen Lyman’s farm in Cambridge, and the Henry County Historical Museum in Bishop Hill. We also had breakfast in Argo, IA. It is the only place I know of where the waitresses take your order from memory. There were seven of us. The food was excellent and we always go there the day after Thanksgiving. On Saturday, November 25th, we had the traditional International Potluck Supper and Program for all the host families and the foreign guests. This year it was held at St. Malachy’s Catholic Church, Geneseo. Lorna and I will miss our friend, Polly.

Falling Nuts

Nut-bearing trees have on and off years. On the “on years” which are called, “mast years,” there are a lot of nuts falling from trees like oak trees dropping acorns. After the trees have dropped their nuts they take a breather for two to five years. They can be a nuisance if the acorns or walnuts fall on your driveway, or on your lawn when cutting grass. Naturally, park your vehicle in your carport or garage if you’re bombarded by the projectiles.

Fishy Humor

What is a shark’s favorite game? Swallow the leader.

What did you call a fish’s date? His gill-friend.

What do you call a fish that can do magic?

Marlin, the Magnificent. (Don’t blame me, ‘yer the one reading these dumb jokes).

Leave ‘em Be

Not in our front yard, but we have lots of trees in our backyard jungle. In past years I’ve cut the grass in late fall and did it so the leaves would be jettison into the woods. This fall I’m leaving scattered leaves in the backyard because I read it is best to do so as they become fertilizer. We’ll see how that turns out. In that same article it mentioned to use caution when planting a black walnut tree. It’s leaves contain a toxic chemical which adversely affects and sometimes kill plants like peonies, hydrangeas, lilies, tomatoes, and other plants. I don’t think there is a problem with artificial plants!!!!

Beyond 76

I heard on TV that the average life dependency is 76 years. Wow, I snuck in an extra 5 years. Hope St. Peter doesn’t find his mistake!! I read that the world’s population is now over 8 billion. Much of that is that people are living longer. I’m quite sure I’ll checkout in my 80s, but I’m in no hurry.

Job Humor

1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn’t concentrate.

2. After that job I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it. They gave me the axe.

3. I then became a tailor. It was just a sew-sew job.

4. A few years ago I liked my job at a muffler factory, but it was too exhausting.

5. My best job was as a musician, but it wasn’t noteworthy.

Foul Play - Dan Dauw

Gobble-Gobble Jokes

Why did the Geneseo police arrest the turkey?

They suspected foul play.

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

What key won’t open any door?

A turkey.

What kind of weather does a turkey like?

Fowl weather.

Back and Running

As you know, the Covid-19 caused tremendous problems for two or three years. Many individuals, businesses, and organizations just didn’t get back to “business as usual.”

So, Lorna and I were glad that the Geneseo International Thanksgiving Day Program is back. Fortunately, Geneseo and Sterling-Rock Falls were able to host international college students from Chicago over the Thanksgiving holidays.

We have hosted foreign college students and business individuals to our home for 35 years. This year we will host two Chinese students for three and half days.

Marcia and Arlyn Helke of Geneseo, started the local program several years ago and they still do an excellent job of coordinating the event.

Turkey Facts

1) The “turkey” is native to the country of Turkey. Early Europeans were reminded of their African Guinea Fowl back home and the similarity led to its name.

2) There are only two species of Wild Turkey: North American and Ocellated Turkey in Central America.

3) Wild turkeys often roost overnight in trees to avoid predators.

4) Male turkeys can weigh up to 25 pounds, while the average female is around half that.

5) Turkeys are confident fliers and are capable of hitting 60 miles per hour. As an old time turkey hunter, I can tell you that wild turkeys have very keen eyesight!

Bye-Bye Buffalo Bridge

I guess 40,000 plus signatures wasn’t quite enough to keep the old I-80 bridge from demolition. Chad Pregracke, Living Lands & Water, and the Buffalo Bridge Foundation had some great ideas on saving the current bridge for tourism, but the Illinois & Iowa DOT nixed the suggestions. I’m sure one of the main reasons is the budget and they won’t be “buffaloed” into leaving the bridge intact. Sad, really!

Humor

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore!

Man: Is this seat taken?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Ice Fishing Not Far Away

If you haven’t tried this spin-off sport of ice fishing, try it. I’m not suggesting you go out on the ice with 20 below zero temps and a howling wind. There are plenty of nice, mild days to sit on the ice and enjoy the quietness Mother Nature has given us. If you have an ice hut, that can help to make it even more tolerable. That reminds me, Chris Weisser, Geneseo, has a 4 man hut for sale. He used it very little. His phone number is: 309-944-1230.

As of this writing, there is no ice, but usually the month of December and on, there can be safe ice. I’m not sure if it’s climate change or what, but the past few years it’s been an “off ‘n on” venture to walk on the hard water.

Last Day on Old Miss

Last week, Gary Dahlquist, his half-brother, Tom, and myself gave it one more shot at catching some crappies and channel cats. We fished several locations on old Miss, but by the end of the morning we had caught two “dinks”(bass) and one nice size yellow perch. Oh well, it was a beautiful day and a nice way to end the soft water fish’n!!

Joke

No one is safe from my attempted humor. Case in point: When Art Neuleib was a young lad he was asked by his math teacher to count to ten. Art stood up from his desk and said, “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ten!” His teacher said, “Didn’t you forget something?” “What happened to nine?” “Nothing!” said Art, because “Seven eight nine!”

“HAPPY THANKSGIVING”

Geneseo’s 2023 Christmas Walk Ornament Available – By Claudia Loucks

By Claudia Loucks
Geneseo Current

Creating an annual Christmas Walk Ornament is a Geneseo tradition that spans decades. The first ornament was created in 1993 by Don Beck to commemorate the Victorian Walk in Geneseo. Beck retired from making the ornaments in 2006, but the ornament tradition continues each year.

The design of the annual ornament tradition has gone through the hands of several creative Geneseo citizens.

The 2023 mosaic glass ornaments are circular in shape and each of the 60 ornaments has been made in-house by members of the Geneseo Art League. All are of different designs and colors.

Jodi Haars, president of the Geneseo Art League, said League members began creating the designs in April and include poinsettias, Christmas bells, lights and more.

The reverse side of each ornament includes a laser etching of the Art League logo and Christmas Walk 2023.

This year’s holiday ornament is available to purchase for $15 each at any of the three art galleries located in the “Art District” on State St. in downtown Geneseo. The Geneseo Art League at 125 North State, RutabagA Gallery and Studio at 108 North State, and at Smith Studio and Gallery at 124 South State.

Holiday hours at the Art League begin Wednesday, Nov. 22, and continue through Christmas Eve - from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday and noon to 4 p.m. on Sundays.

Megan Harrington, daughter of Mike and Jill Harrington; and Jodi Haars, president of the Geneseo Art League, show one of the mosaic glass ornaments made for the 2023 Geneseo Christmas Walk. Photo by Claudia Loucks

Forty is the Old Age of Youth - By Dan Dauw

Christmas Wreath

I noticed some stores are already displaying Christmas items. One item of various sizes is the tradition wreath. They can be at different places like on a door, lamppost, window and so on. We put ours one the front door with electric lights. Okay, now you’re going to learn a few things about the wreath. First, wreaths go back to the earliest civilizations, around the time Lyn Paris was playing golf using a tree branch and a round rock. Round wreaths are a symbol of immortality and are associated with life and renewal. Lastly, they used to be hung around the neck, head or waist. It was a sign of welcome.

Now, see what you can learn by reading Dan D’s Outdoors?!

Compliment Time

I haven’t thrown any compliments for a while so let’s give some to Zack Sullivan, Executive Director, Geneseo Chamber of Commerce. The gentleman really deserves some “kudos” for all the work he does. The City of Geneseo is very lucky to have such an energetic and personable person working for the ‘Chamber. Last week I happened to turn on the TV and Zack was on KWQC-TV, the “PSL Show.” He did an excellent job promoting Geneseo and the “Christmas Walk.”

Poor Bears

Talk about two inept teams at last week’s game between ‘da Bears and the Carolina Panthers. Thankfully, they don’t play again until November 19th at Detroit. QB Justin Field’s thumb should be healed by then. QB Tyson Bagent didn’t do a horrible job, but I think Fields will be the better of the two against the Lions. This joke going around fits their game against the Panthers. “After watching the last Bears game, Arlington has decided to rebuild the racetrack!” “Go, Bears!”

Blackbirds & Bird Food

Every fall it is interesting to see the thousands upon thousands of blackbirds all bunched up and heading for warmer temps. Sir Glen Anderson, Birdman of Henry County, told me that 50 pound bags of cracked corn is good bird feed and reasonable in price. For large selections of bird feed try Farm & Fleet, Farm King and Theisen’s in Davenport.

Civil War Lingo

Bacon was called “sow bosom” by soldiers of the Civil War. A soldier under attack wanted to “peddle lead” meaning shoot fast. Civil War officers’ shoulder bars were called, “pumpkin rinds.”

Jewish Cemetery

On Shockoe Hill in Richmond, Virginia, is the only Confederate Hebrew Cemetery outside of Israel.

Age

Victor Hugo once said, “Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age!” No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year. Lastly, “Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old age is regret.”

Why

Lastly, why does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?

Geneseo Ikes Breakfast

On Saturday, November 11th, the Geneseo Izaak Walton League held their annual fall breakfast for members and guests. The cooks and helpers did a great job. The food was excellent!

Sometime After the Earth Cooled - By Dan Dauw

Not An Easy Goal

I think this is very cool. Setting goals can be a neat, important and interesting endeavor. One goal I have never heard about until now was, or still is, catching a fish each day. So, over 100 days ago, Mark Shoemaker, age 13 from Geneseo, set a goal of catching at least one fish everyday. So far he has caught 14 different species of fish. He and his family live near the canal, but it still is a big challenge because he is depended on the “fish!” His first day he caught a big bass (C-photo). Mark is also involved with school, football, cross country and basketball so sometimes he has to get up early to fish or at night to catch that one daily fish. One early morning he went out in his pajamas, in the dark and in the rain just to keep his streak going. Now that, folks, is one very determined fisherman. Obviously, Mark is one heck of a fisherman!

Mark Shoemaker, 7th grader, Geneseo, set a goal of catching one fish every day. He has now passed 100 days of catching at least one fish daily. The first fish he caught on Day 1 was a big bass as shown in the photo.  

U.S. Postal Service

In this crazy world, I guess it doesn’t surprise me about robbery and attacks on Letter Carriers plus the increase of stealing mail. When I carried mail, sometime after the earth cooled, the only thing we had to worry about were dogs and some punk(s) knocking down rural mailboxes. Although, anymore no place is safe from “stick up’s.” I ‘m sure it is more dangerous in heavy populated cities. Keep in mind that such increases of crime are reflected in the increase in postage. Unrelated to crime, but what also is reflected is the increase of that stamp is at the pump. Also, those Long Life Vehicles (LLV) are way past their reliability and usefulness. The large fleet of LLVs are being replaced and we’re talking big bucks. So, while a stamp is getting close to that 70 cents mark, there are a lot of good and bad factors to be considered on a postage increase. It’s a balancing act, for sure!

Airplane Humor

Jerry Myhre, Geneseo, used to fly a passenger plane for Geneseo Airlines. He was a pilot for the economy flights. There wasn’t any movies shown, but he flew low over a few drive-ins.

Orville Wright said to his brother, Wilbur, “You were only in the air for twelve seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?”

To bad about the kamikaze pilots. They had to do all their bragging ahead of time.

Wind Turbines

Except for dotting the country side with what I think are ugly structures, wind turbines are a good thing for the environment. I’m sure way down the road they will be taken down and replaced by something different. For farmers, allowing them to be installed on their farmland means extra income.
I read recently in the Successful Farming publication that renting out their property can add some extra income. A farmer in Emden, Illinois, is not allowed to say exactly how much he receives per each turbine, but it is somewhere between $10,000 and $15,000 per turbine, per year. Not a bad piece of change for not taking up a lot of ground. As to solar panels, a farmer in Woodson, IL, has 15 acres of solar panels. He said the income is more than farming those acres. Interesting!

Kaiten

Most of us know what a “kamikaze” (Divine Wind) was during WW2 when fighting the Japanese. Some Japanese pilots would jump in their airplanes, loaded with a bomb, and attempt to crash their plane into the enemy’s ships. Happily, they would die for the emperor. The Japanese had one of the better torpedoes (Type 93 Long Lance) of WW2. They modified a torpedo in which the pilot sat inside and could steer the torpedo directly into the hull of the ship. It was called, “Kaiten” meaning “Turn to the Heavens.” Once inside the torpedo the pilot had no way to exit. His fate was sealed. A Japanese “mother ship” would carry 4 such modified torpedoes. One Kaiten did manage to sink the U.S. Navy ship, the Mississinewa. Overall, Kaitens were not very successful and had little military value.

Wild Game Feast

Again, Boy Scout Troop 131 did an outstanding job providing a great wild game dinner last Saturday evening at the Moose Lodge. It is one of their annual fund raiser events and the food was outstanding. The silent auction was nice, too! We got the winning bid for a half hour flight in Kent Johnson’s Piper J-3 Cub airplane. So, our grandson, Caden, who loves airplanes, will enjoy the flight. He’ll be on cloud nine, so to speak! We also had the high bid on a food basket from Lisa’s Place, Atkinson.

Linoleum Blownapart - By Dan Dauw

Gun Ownership in Israel

From what I can get from the internet, Israelis are allowed to carry a weapon and can have a firearm in their home. The police in Israel believe it is a good idea. Residents may have to have a permit, but it appears it is not strictly enforced. Of course, our country will never have our enemies set foot on our turf. No, we are isolated. Borders are secured. Can’t happen here!! Yeah, right! I know if I lived in Israel I would have a pistol and it wouldn’t be for shooting rabbits!!!

I was in Israel, Lebanon and Jordan in 1963. It was a dangerous time, but nothing like what’s going on today. Some years ago we hosted two foreign students from Lebanon and Jordan into our home during the Thanksgiving holidays. The two ladies were very bright, but they sure did not like Israel. Sad to say that months later we received a letter from the Londonize student. One of the bombs that fell close to her home in Beirut had failed to detonate. She said it was an American bomb, but from Israel. We never heard from her since. Very sad. So much hate for the Jewish people. Sick, sick, sick!!!

Barb Wire

As we travel through the country side we don’t even give a blink at the fences we see to keep livestock from wondering and to mark whose land is whose! I recently read a 1975 published book entitled, “The “Bobbed Wire” by Jack Glover. Growing up in the ‘40s and beyond, I always heard it pronounced “Bobbed” wire. Barb wire is more appropriate. The first patent of “thorny fence” was applied for in 1867. Some early wires had signal plates and wooden blocks so livestock could see the wire. From 1867 to 1890, hundreds of wires were patented. The first generation settlers were not happy about ranchers putting up fences. They felt their livestock should be able to graze when and where they wish. Many fences were torn down and more than a few ranchers were killed because of fences.

One type of barbed wire, Obstacle wire, was used in WW1. Today, Razor wire is used to try and keep illegal people from entering our country.

Humor

I’ll try to enlighten your brain with some humor, such as it is!

1. A rubber-band toy pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

2. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

3. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

4. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

5. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

Vaccines

In the latest Consumer Reports “On Health,” November issue, it had a full page of information on this year’s flu epidemic. The article advised people 65 and older to get one of three vaccines, Fluzone High-Dose Quadrivalent, Fluad Quadrivalent, or Flublok Quadrivalent. We got vaccinated last week, but there is another vaccine that we still need to get in a few weeks. Lorna had Covid two weeks ago so she needs to wait for the next shot. I know there are those who don’t believe in vaccinations, but we think they are a good thing. One thing is for sure, the drug companies must be pulling in some mega bucks!

Fishing Report

Three of us dropped anchor on some Mississippi River locations last week. We caught 18 channel cat “keepers.” The water temperature was 53. As it gets below 50 degrees using “stink bait” does not work as well. Lorna and I fished for trout on the second day of the fall trout season. We caught 5 which included one golden rainbow.

“HAPPY HALLOWEEN”

Number please? - By Dan Dauw

Illinois Fall Trout Season

It starts this coming Saturday, October 21, at 5 a.m. The closest 3 locations are Moline’s Prospect Park Lagoon, Hennepin Canal Parkway, Sheffield (Opens at 6 a.m.), and Centennial Park Pond, Rock Falls. All three are excellent locations, but the key to getting a good spot is to get there early. Make sure you have, on your person, both your Illinois fishing license and trout stamp. Trout can just about eat any bait thrown at them. My favorite are minnows, but red worms, small lures, corn, and waxies are good choices, too. Trout are real battlers, easy to clean and taste, oh so good!

Compliments to Eye Surgeons & H-H Hospital

I don’t know all the names I came into contact with concerning my recent cataract surgery. However, I’ll throw out some names I can remember from Hammond-Henry Hospital. They were Dr. “Adam,” Theresa Peterson, Ms. Carton, Ashley, Kelly, Sonya, Sheryle, and Nicole. I think the ladies were all RNs, but maybe not. The three doctors at Eye Surgeons were Dr. Fenzl (surgeon), Dr. Heden and Dr. Benevento, Bettendorf.

I’m sorry I missed other names, but suffice to say, all the individuals I came in contact with were very nice and professional. If need be, I sure would recommend having the cataract procedure done. It is really amazing on the clarity and sharpness I can now see. So, a sincere “Thank You” goes to the caring and kindness of those at the H-H Hospital and Eye Surgeons.

A Dan D Spooky Poem

It was on Halloween night, under a full moon light;

I had been to a party not far from home, I took an odd way back so no place to roam;

I walked a short cut through the din, I became lost as a thick fog rolled in;

I heard strange noises, thinking, is this the right path to take?

I walked through an old cemetery near Dead Man’s Lake;

I heard owls hooting in a large oak tree, I should not worry, they won’t scare me;

I made it home and a little frightened to be, I opened the front door and was shocked to see,

Dracula sitting in a casket and watching TV.

Rain

It has been said that the best time to plant grass seed is in the fall. I hope that’s true as a few weeks ago we had Curb Appeal, Carbon Cliff, do some landscaping which required lots of grass seed planted. Yes, we used both our sprinklers, but Mother Nature does it best. I suspect most farmers, if not in a drought area, do not need the moisture during harvest time. So, I guess some days are gold and some days are stone.

Identity Theft

At last week’s Geneseo Kiwanis meeting, the guest speaker was Shanda Wood, Card Services, Administration Officer, Central Bank, Geneseo. She gave an excellent presentation on identity theft. It was surprising to me that a lot of problems come from check fraud. Most of us use plastic, but there is enough check writing to make crooks pay attention. They can clean checks with a solvent that washes the information and signature off. She talked about phone fraud and how to beware of scam artists. Speaking for ourselves, we get a lot of fake phone calls. With Caller ID if we don’t recognize the name or phone number we let the answering machine do its thing. Most always they never leave a message. Real important, huh?!

Senior Humor

“ I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older, I find I don’t want to do them anyway!” “I’m getting on in years and I probably should have moved south by now.” “Ha! High time, parts of my body already have!” Sounds I don’t hear much anymore: Coffee percolating. A telephone operator saying, “Number please?” Ice being chipped with an icepick. What did the ghost teacher say to her class? “Watch the blackboard and I’ll go through it again.”